Funny Signs

Full Text: Not to brag, but I was alive when you could SLAM the phone down to hang up on someone. It was spectacular. Features: Size: 3.5x10 inches Made from solid knotty pine Flat edges for shelf-sitting Routed slot in back for hanging

Full Text: Nothing messes up your Friday like finding out it's Tuesday. Features: Size: 3.5x10 inches Made from solid knotty pine Flat edges for shelf-sitting Routed slot in back for hanging

Full Text: Not all of us were meant to cook. Some of us were meant to simply sit in the kitchen and have conversations with the person cooking. Features: Size: 3.5x10 inches Made from solid knotty pine Flat edges for shelf-sitting Routed slot...

Full Text: Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience. - Mark Twain Features: Size: 3.5x10 inches Made from solid knotty pine Flat edges for shelf-sitting Routed slot in back for...

Full Text: My patience is like a gift card. Not sure how much is left on it, but why don't you give it a try. Features: Size: 3.5x10 inches Made from solid knotty pine Flat edges for shelf-sitting Routed slot in back for hanging

Full Text: My goal weight is one chin. Features: Size: 3.5x10 inches Made from solid knotty pine Flat edges for shelf-sitting Routed slot in back for hanging

Full Text: my flabbers be gasted daily Features: Size: 3.5x10 inches Made from solid knotty pine Flat edges for shelf-sitting Routed slot in back for hanging

Full Text: My current hobbies include rage sighing, not wearing real clothes, and eating every single day like I'm going to the electric chair. Features: Size: 3.5x10 inches Made from solid knotty pine Flat edges for shelf-sitting Routed slot...

Full Text: Kinda wanna look good in a swimsuit. Kinda wanna eat 47 tacos. Kinda annoyed I have to pick one. Features: Size: 3.5x10 inches Made from solid knotty pine Flat edges for shelf-sitting Routed slot in back for hanging

Full Text: It is easier to practice self-restraint from dumb choices as you get older. Not because you are wiser, but because you're tired. Features: Size: 3.5x10 inches Made from solid knotty pine Flat edges for shelf-sitting Routed slot in...

Full Text: It's almost time for me to switch from my everyday anxiety to my fancy holiday anxiety. Features: Size: 3.5x10 inches Made from solid knotty pine Flat edges for shelf-sitting Routed slot in back for hanging

Full Text: Inner peace begins with four words: Not. My. Fucking. Problem. Features: Size: 3.5x10 inches Made from solid knotty pine Flat edges for shelf-sitting Routed slot in back for hanging

Full Text: I just want to drink my coffee and have no one pet my peeves today. Features: Size: 3.5x10 inches Made from solid knotty pine Flat edges for shelf-sitting Routed slot in back for hanging

Full Text: If you say "Fuck Off" backwards, it still sounds like "Fuck Off," but in a cool Irish accent. Features: Size: 3.5x10 inches Made from solid knotty pine Flat edges for shelf-sitting Routed slot in back for hanging

Full Text: If laziness were an Olympic sport, I'd come in fourth so I wouldn't have to walk up to the podium. Features: Size: 3.5x10 inches Made from solid knotty pine Flat edges for shelf-sitting Routed slot in back for hanging

Full Text: I don't usually think about what I say before I say it. I prefer to think about it after I've said it. ...late at night...for the rest of my life... Features: Size: 3.5x10 inches Made from solid knotty pine Flat edges for...

Full Text: I don't drink or do drugs. At my age, I can get the same effect by standing up too fast. Features: Size: 3.5x10 inches Made from solid knotty pine Flat edges for shelf-sitting Routed slot in back for hanging

Full Text: I'm thinking about getting a pet to go jogging with me. Maybe a turtle. Features: Size: 3.5x10 inches Made from solid knotty pine Flat edges for shelf-sitting Routed slot in back for hanging

Full Text: I'm at the age where my brain thinks I'm 29, my sense of humor suggests I'm 12, and my body might have died in the civil war. Features: Size: 3.5x10 inches Made from solid knotty pine Flat edges for shelf-sitting Routed slot in back...

Full Text: Gardening - because murder is wrong Features: Size: 3.5x10 inches Made from solid knotty pine Flat edges for shelf-sitting Routed slot in back for hanging